Suzanne Nistelberger: A Journey From Numbness to PurposeIt Started With Pain

Heroes of the Phoenix Rising by Vision One World

It Started With Pain

“It was just plain stupidity. It all started from relieving myself from my excruciating menstrual cramps.”

What began as a way to escape chronic pain slowly became an escape from life itself. The more pain Suzanne Nistelberger felt—physically and emotionally—the more she leaned on pain medication. Over time, the drugs stopped working, and she did what felt like the only solution: she increased her dosage.

“I just upped my dosage,” she says. Her dependence was exacerbated by a doctor with a history of criminal charges. Over the years, she was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia, herniated discs, and endured two minor car accidents. The physical pain never stopped—but neither did the emotional one.

Unseen Scars

Suzanne’s childhood carried its own trauma. “I had no father till I was about six years old. My mother worked three different jobs, leaving me in the care of a babysitter.” Tragically, it was the babysitter’s son who sexually abused her. Then, she lost her mother at the age of 40. Her refuge came in marriage and motherhood—until her husband left for Austria, and she eventually sent her son to live with him when he turned 15.

By then, Suzanne was emotionally drained and spiritually hollow. “I was an empty shell of a person... no feelings, no energy, no lust for life. I had absolutely nothing left to live for.”

One Lifeline

Her only lifeline during that time was her father and stepmother, who had tried for years to help her. But by 2010, even they began to shut her out. That October, Suzanne finally made a call to the distress line.

“Yes, I was sexually abused as a 4-year-old. Yes, I never had the nurturing environment every child deserves. But I can also tell you now that every emotional scar is reversible. Things can change. Nothing should be an excuse to not change your life for the better.”

The Turning Point

She was 46 when she made that life-saving call. “I had to try just that one time to seek help from a source other than drugs.”

Recovery didn’t come easy. “When I sat there for my first session and saw the people around me, I had an attitude that I was better than them. But I stuck around and realized—we were all the same. We all had a story. We all needed help.”

A Book That Spoke to Her Soul

Then came a breakthrough: In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Dr. Gabor Maté.

For the first time, Suzanne saw herself reflected in the words on the page. She learned how trauma changes the brain, and how addiction often stems from a lack of early emotional safety. She finally understood her lifelong patterns.

“Endorphins are released in the infant’s brain when there are warm, non-stressed, calm interactions with parenting figures... The fewer endorphin-enhancing experiences in infancy and early childhood, the greater the need for external sources... Later in life such children may experience a hit of heroin as the 'warm, soft hug' they didn’t get enough of before.”

— Excerpt from Gabor Maté’s “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts”

From Recovery to Purpose

With time, Suzanne got a firm grip on a drug-free life. And with that freedom came a purpose.

“I have done public speaking on addiction in churches and different venues, including on TV. I would do it for nothing—anything to help others.”

Today, she works as a peer mentor at the very referral centre where she first sought help. “It’s now my turn to give back. I get to give back every single day.”

Her mission is simple but powerful: to humanize recovery. “Ever since I recovered, I knew this is what I’m supposed to do.”

Walking With Others Through Their Pain

Suzanne goes out of her way to comfort those entering the centre. She knows exactly what they’re going through—because she’s been there.

“I’ve been there, done that. I know the other side of the story. I’ve walked in their shoes almost all my life.”

The people she helps feel that connection deeply. One recovering addict said, “I finally feel someone is listening to me, someone understands me.” Another said, “I never felt heard until now. But things are different with Suzanne around.”

Still Healing, Still Hoping

One chapter of her life remains unresolved: her relationship with her son. But Suzanne holds hope.

“No matter what my son feels for me today... I love him deeply,” she says, her voice soft with the ache of a mother’s love.

Until that final bridge is mended, Suzanne continues to give of herself to others—to every addict who needs hope, and to every soul who feels forgotten.

A Lasting Impact

Suzanne Nistelberger shows us that no matter how painful life gets, we can always choose to change. We can always choose to heal. We can always choose to help others.

She also contributed her lived experience to help develop a public speaking guide for people recovering from prescription pain medication dependence.