A Turning Point at 15,000 Feet: My Story & The Birth of Antiquity - The business and the community.
- Tania Haldar
- Sep 15
- 8 min read
Updated: Oct 20
There I was, bang in the middle of one of the biggest crossroads of my life. I had taken some life altering decisions months prior and had just about managed to break away from decades old mental bondages. That moment in time, I was standing tall, 15000 feet high in the lap of the Himalayas.
With no idea of what was to come next...
My First Solo Trek: A new dawn
The sun was setting right in front of me as I walked further into the deepest rocks and trails. It was the end of an era for me.
An end of a life leading that perfect life...
....My mother’s perfect life! I had spent an entire lifetime living her ideal life. Her dreams, her ambitions—I was living a life...but without the “f” in it!! It was one that she could feel proud of, even though she knew that behind all closed doors, behind all those happy smiles and the perfect facade, I was breaking into a thousand pieces every single day...
So desperate was the desire for that acceptance, I would keep throwing myself away, for all I truly really ever wanted was just the love and attention and security of my husband....my in-laws....my parents....and then I knew that I could win the world......
But in wanting to win the love of others, I faltered and failed my own self...over and over and over again...And it wasn't until now that I truly realized the depth of all the lies I was living in....and had finally walked away from.
Miles and miles away from my home in Oakville, I met myself for the very first time. In seeing God’s own creation, I saw myself—and I fell in love with God, and with myself, for I was His. So how could I be anything but beautiful, just like the mountains and snow and rocks and rivers… The Universe flowed within me, and I within Her.
Choosing Myself for the First Time
I didn’t know what my next steps were going to be. All I knew was that I was far, far away. No more fighting, no more crying, no more being abandoned over and over again and being treated like I was just an option to those who meant everything to me every single day. For the first time in my life, I had finally chosen myself.
The Pendant That Sparked a Business
My son called me that same night to get him a special kind of a pendant back for him upon my return. So I went searching for some special stones for him from the heart of the valley that I had been trekking for days on end. Stones from the Kali Gandaki Valley, which I later was able to buy at a local shop.
Little did I know that the stones I went to find that connected me to Mother Earth were waiting for me to find her. The idea of starting my own line of pendants....my own business with these stones as a constant reminder of my rebirth was born...
July 3rd, 2024: A Personal Rebirth
This was also the date I had lost my father, five years ago. I knew he was blessing me. I stepped into my into my new home with my two children away from all the lies and betrayal........... I shut out the voices of my mother, my in laws and my now ex-husband for good.... Yes, I still wish them all well, and have still maintained a relation so my children would have their father in their lives daily and have a healthy relationship, but to me, the doors to an entire lifetime of deceit and abandonment were closed forever- because for the first time, I chose to pick me, and I had never been this happy in my life.
I knew something was dying inside of me, but this time it wasn’t the daily death and sadness I had faced all my life. This death was different. This was the death of my own victimhood mentality I had developed and gotten so used to.
I was convinced I had to stay in all my pain because I was convinced from years of mind training, that pain was the only way it had to be, so there was no question of another way for me. Another way for ‘me’ would be selfish, and how could a good girl like me be selfish?
But suddenly, they weren’t a part of any of my emotions anymore—neither anger from all the discoveries I kept making, nor sadness at being consistently abandoned, nor sudden happiness from finally being chosen at will, nor anxiety from realizing more truths again.
Letting Go of Victimhood
I realized now what I had done to myself in all these years was that I had gotten comfortable living in a victim state of mind. I had learned it was normal to be unhappy and live in depression, that it was only natural to be lied to and cheated on, that it was just part of acceptance being backstabbed, that of course it was ok to feel unworthy and not someone who deserves to be cared for. Through all the good times I was held up as a trophy, but through the bad, I was taught that I did not matter.
And in the end, I had truly stopped choosing myself because no one I had cared for, chose me. I was convinced, for years, that I truly did not matter, and in planning my own end of life, I was also convinced that no one would even miss me. I had hit rock bottom, and that was my lowest low. If it wasn't for the fear of my children discovering my lifeless body, I would not have been here to tell my story. I could not and would not let that happen. I was drowning, but my fight then became only about saving myself.
It finally dawned upon me that I was the only one who was going to stand by me when everyone else wronged me. The day I chose myself, I realized that choosing others' happiness by sacrificing myself was in fact the most selfish thing to do.
And that death of the old me was ecstatically beautiful!
I wasn’t a victim anymore!!
I was finally, Me! And that ‘me’ was in charge of my own life and my own happiness from that day forward. I still didn’t know how, but I knew one thing for sure—that I wasn’t here in this world to live in sadness and pain.
There were far greater things I was here to do, and starting to be happy was one of them. I made a promise to work hard on myself for the first time, to find myself, to love and care for myself, to find my own heart that would not carry anyone else’s pain anymore.
But I hadn’t hardened, in fact, I was filled with gratitude for each one of those who had left me to fight for myself all alone. It was as if I had finally found a simple switch in an instant: I just let them all go from my heart for good, but with love and gratitude for being the key players in my life who led me to understanding myself and my purpose. I realized finally, that it was on me to have said no and walked away years ago and found myself.
Well as they say, the second best time to start over, is now. So here I am! Starting over! What started as a journey of self-discovery, led to starting my business.
Faith, Family & Forward -
My Second Chance
It was my second chance at life and at starting something to support myself hereon, and spread the beauty of Mother Nature that held me in Her lap when I needed my mother the most. My pendants carried her semi precious stones as I started working on myself, and on my business. Because I had recently started my own ad agency too, I was able to get all the marketing done, and started working day and night to get my businesses and all my projects while taking care of my home and children- I had to be the hero I never allowed myself to be. And hey, let's face it - if it wasnt for the extreme harsh life lessons I had gone through, I would not have been able to manage the 3 businesses I was now managing and my kids and home! So one other reason to be grateful the people who taught me the toughest lessons of my life to be entirely self reliant.
Physically I hadn’t been this exhausted ever. But the mental peace—heaven! And so I immersed myself in creating my own work from the ground up.
No one was going to be responsible for my life but me. Today, what stands in front of my own mirror is someone I can for the first time say that I am beautiful, I am sensitive, I am emotional, I care and love deeply, I have a heart and a mind that thinks and overthinks—Yes, I am all those things I was ridiculed and discarded for.
But today I am also the phoenix warrior that rose from the ashes and has learned that my God has never left me, and I was put here in this world to go through all of these experiences so I could be there for someone else—because I learned how painful it was when no one I trusted was ever there for me.
With that knowing, yet another purpose was born for me:
Creation of The Antiquity United Circle! I started my own not for profit Vision One World....
The Village We All Need
Come and join me at the Antiquity United Circle.
I am here to say that you do not need to be alone. You are not alone—whether you are a man or woman, "successful" or not - it doesn’t matter—we all need to come together again and bring back the village we lost a long, long time ago. We need to recreate a world that loves and heals together again. Loneliness and hopelessness is painful - and I want to share through my story, that second chances are 100% possible
There is no glory in being a lone wolf. We need love to heal. Together.
The Antiquity United Circle is born from that necessity to love and be loved. That is our basic need as humans. We are therefore going to be that village we all needed in our childhood, while growing up, while in school, while in our workspace, in life, in our personal relationships.
It is to help and encourage each other and remind ourselves that we are all powerful beings and can create the life we truly deserve—the day we realize we are worthy because we are created in His light, we will free ourselves from all the bondages we live in this world.
Come and join me in creating The Antiquity United Circle—Our New Age Global Village. Here we will have workshops, coffees, meetups, entrepreneurial trips to learn from other established entrepreneurs, and so, so much more in the months and years to come.
Want to know what all I built after found my own second chance? Follow my link to all that I am today- just a few years after I was orchestrating my own end. https://www.onedoormedia.ca/about-tania-haldar
Call, if you feel like there's no way out. Just remember—no matter what age or stage you are in life—Bring back that child in you and repeat after me:
"I am worthy, and I got this!"
